In Gods Hands

Friday, December 4, 2009

Are not two sparrows sold for a cooper coin? And not one of them falls
to the ground apart from your Fathers will. But every hair of your head are
all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many
sparrows.
Matthew 10:29-31



I have been active in our local Hope Keepers for the last six years, it doesn't really seem that long, and yet we are planning a celebration to honor our anniversary of our first meeting.

When we first began our weakly meetings, we were strangers, with two things in common. One , we all lived with chronic pain on a daily bases. Two , we all had a personal relationship with God. From the beginning we each brought something vital to our group, the most important element was a unique prospective, born of our individual battle with chronic pain. In reality, I personally brought in to the group , something that they had never contemplated. While the ladies of our group dealt with the reality of chronic pain cause by an injury or pain that was the result of a progressive disease like arthritis , Parkinson disease, or some neurological disorder, I brought it to the group , a disorder I was born with, and with it the reality that I had been dealing with chronic stomach problems since a child, and which progressively got worse as I became an adult.

I have Gastroduodenal Crohn's Disease/ Gastorparesis. Crohn's disease although no completely understood by modern science is viewed as a genetic disorder of the intestines. My grandmother and my mother both we diagnosed with crohn's disease. In my case, the result of having Gastroduodenal CD, ( crohn's of the stomach ) resulted in my stomach becoming partially paralyzed. This disease has resulted in a life time of stomach misery, and over 30 years of stomach pain and cramps. Add to the fact that I was in a car accident that did damage to my lower spine, resulting in chronic leg pain, I life is a painful one.

I was once asked how I have been able to deal with a life time of fighting a battle with a chronic illness, with out wanting to give up on life. If you have read my book, you will come to realize that there was a time in my life that I prayed for death. But I was to soon learn that God had a purpose for my life that went beyond my physical limitations.

Dealing with the reality of a chronic illness and pain, has not been easy to deal with especially in the face of the reality that there is little that doctors can do to relive my symptoms. As a result, I have experienced good days physically as well as bad days. But despite the reality of the pain and misery that I experience on a daily bases, my life has been filled with many blessings. I have a loving husband and two wonderful children, four grandchildren that I homeschool. I have found my purpose as a motivational a writer, a teacher, a councilor, a webpage designer…a homemaker.

To answer the question concerning how I live with my illness on a daily bases, the answer is simple. I have placed my life in Gods Hands.

My Life In Gods Hands

From the moment we are born to the day that we move beyond this world, God is in control of our destiny. Despite what we may have come to believe , we are not in control of our lives. Yes, we do have a free will, and we have the God given rights to make our own decisions concerning the direction we take in life. We also have the God given right to make a choice to be happy in the middle of life's trials, or to allow ourselves to wallow in self pity. We have the God given right to be angry at the unfairness of our situations, or we can choose to place our will and our life in Gods hands, and lean upon Him for the wisdom to deal with out situation constructive.

The simple truth is, we have the God given right to reject Gods will for our lives and walk the rocky path of our own need to be in total control of our own lives. In doing so, our lives become ruled by the darkness of fear and doubt that comes form being out from under God covering. On the other hand, we can place our lives and our will in Gods Hands and in doing so find the peace that passes all understanding. In placing our lives in Gods Hands, we open our heart and spirit to the guiding hands of the Holy Spirit of God, and in doing so the choices we make become His choice for us.

Personally, I have no control over my illness our pain, I never know from one minute to the next when the chronic nausea is going to hit me, so I live moment to moment, leaning upon the Lord and depending upon Him to given me the wisdom and calmness of my emotion in order to deal with my flare-ups with patients and understanding. Getting upset over something I have no control over only make the problems worse.

As you struggle with the reality of your illness, lean upon the Lord and Trust that in Gods Hands you life can and will be one of purpose and fulfillment, despite your limitations. Just open you heart to God and allow Him to show you the way.